I had a few minutes to update the ole blog with some personal reflections. Mary Beth’s parents went home this morning, so today was the first day we had as a family – our new family, the four of us . . . yeah, I suppose that will take some time to get used to.
Now I have a son . . . and a daughter . . . things, they are a’ changing.
Having two children instead of one will always be a drastic change in one’s life, but I have to think having two children of the same gender is not as dramatic a change as having two children of different genders. As I opened that first diaper while at the hospital and saw, instead of the overly familiar penis staring back at me, it was this much less familiar vagina. Whisping through my mind at this realization was that what lies on the horizon is far from simply an anatomical discrepency. Clementine is going to mean a whole different world is ahead.
Simply relating to a girl must be a challenge for most dads. I mean, come on, they are different than we are. Just as we often have difficulty relating to our spouses, now that difficulty enters the already terse father-child interaction. Hmm . . . I wonder how that’ll play out.
Then there are weddings. With Clark we were home free, a little rehearsal dinner and that’s all she wrote, now we have to be thinking rental halls, orchestras, djs, receptions . . . yikes, we better move South where they don’t throw receptions . . . and I can solemnize the marriage here in Ohio, so they can save on that expense, but it’s still going to get ugly.
There’s just something about having a girl. I mean, I would say I’m about as underprotective a responsible (isn’t that word subjective) parent can be. I don’t worry too much about anything ever happening to him . . . some how, I think having a daughter is going to be different. Now, I have a little sister so this isn’t all unchartered territory, I’ve always been especially protective of her, but now we’re upping the ante. Going back to a previous point, as a guy, I know guys. There doesn’t need to be a guy looking at my daughter, ever. I think we will make her an expert on the teachings of Paul in 1 Corinthians and help her realize that it is really, really, better to be single – busy about the work of the Lord.
Then there’s church. Anyone who knows me knows I’m pretty egalitarian when it comes to church. I empathize as best I can in ways I feel that the church has been oppressive to women, and really share the strife of my wife in a huge uphill battle . . . and now, jeez, I hate to see what lies ahead. Though I have always tried to think I had fervor taking Mary Beth’s cause, I somehow think that having a daughter come up through the ranks will make that even more of a challenge. The prayer should begin now.
This is just some initial thoughts that have raced through my mind the past few days and that vomitted themselves out as I sat to type for a few minutes. But, believe me, what has not been lost is the incredible way I feel the hand of God in my life in the immeasureable way he has blessed me. His face has shined on me for no apparent reason. If anyone deserves what I have, it is someone else. A beautiful, bright, strong, sensitive, loving, caring, wonderful woman to share life with . . . a wonderful, smart, exciting, fun-loving, caring, expressive, and fun son to share childhood with . . . and now a beautiful, perfect, full-of-potential, precious infant to follow through the paths of life . . . no one deserves this, and yet God has rained his blessings upon me . . . what a blessed man I am.